Thursday, July 29, 2010

Feeling????

Feeling??

Full....just had a bowl of Moose tracks icecream...mmmmm....

Well rested...just had a nap :) (thanks mom)

Fit....YEP FIT....WAIT A MINUTE...FIT?

I feel fit. I ran 6.4 km this morning on the highway out here at my parents house. I ran 5km yesterday morning. My body feels good. REAL GOOD. I feel fit. My legs feel muscular. My arms looks more toned. Even my mid area feels fitter, less jiggly, happier...can my pouch feel happier?

I feel happier :)

Monday, July 26, 2010

Pie

(picture)

I had a slice of this for breaky this morning. Its was what I REALLY WANTED and I was hungry. LOVE IT!
I am going to need to eat some yogurt soon though, so that I stay satisfied don't end up ravenous in an hour or two.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Spin date with an old friend

(image found here)

I had a spin date this morning at 10:15 with a freind I have not seen in almost 2 years. I must say I was feeling pretty awful this morning, tired, and run down. I think I am coming down with a cold. I admit I was tempted to cancel. But I didn't, not wanting to be that person that cancels (I may have been a little bad at that in the past, insert sheepish look). So I made it to the class and it was wonderful to see her again. Her fun positive attitude is contagious. She is positive and makes you feel so good about yourself. It was fun to have a workout buddy other than my hubby. It was a 60 min class, I usually do a 45 min class. OUCH, it was hard. I really struggled today. Good thing I had a freind beside me :)
While I was struggling with my bike, Ryan ran his first 5 KM run. WOOT WOOT TO RYAN. I am so proud of him. I love that we are doing this together. We even did 20 push ups after some ummm extra curricular activities the other night :) LOL
I am now sitting back with a LEMON TEA BEER, delish :) and Ryan is cooking me dinner :) Sweet Life :)

Friday, July 23, 2010

Feeling light

Its morning two without the hunk of metal. I feel free. I still wander over to that area of the bathroom out of habit, look down and go YEAHHHHHHH. FREE ALMIGHTY FREE AT LAST.

You know I FEEL GOOD TODAY....I feel light...I feel fluid...I feel 10 pounds lighter...yep 10 pounds...that's what I am giving myself today :) LOL

Seriously, pounds don't matter but its fun to have a little fun and think that way.

I am really committed to focuing on the real stuff. Like the fact that in pump yesterday I did the moves properly and felt a great workout. Celebrating, that I carried Kasey (who was tired and grumpy) to two stores without my back hurting. Looking forward to things like running today, and signing Kayleigh up for a fun duathalon.

I feel like I am living life. I am living life. I am breaking free of the chains.

JOIN ME....throw your scale out girls! DO IT!!!!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

who says?

if you have struggled with your weight and you are like me, you've tried many diets and programs and books and experts. clearly none of them are working.
i recently tried something new. perhaps it is the latest "bandwagon" but i think there is something to it. for now, it is speaking to me and i'm going to stick with it.
i've started reading and following an online retreat through author Geneen Roth. she wrote the book Women, Food and God and she's all the rage with lady oprah lately.

last night i listened to class one of a six week online class. it was eye opening. inspiring. thought provoking.

something she said has really stuck with me. it's been on my brain all day. essentially the gist of what she said was that we listen to other people and other conventions and other thoughts and other things to feed our hunger, to tell us when to eat.

here is how i see this applies to MY life.

we're born. we're put on a feeding schedule because someone knows what is best for us. and that continues. for years.

and then we eat based on breakfast, lunch and dinner and maybe some snacks and maybe nibbles here and there just because. that's our culture. that's our habit.

and we listen to all sorts of so-called experts tell us what to eat and how to eat it - low fat, low cal, no meat, lots of protein, x calories a day and on and on and on.

i can say personally, that hasn't worked for me. i'm living by someone else's "rules" and let's be honest - living by the rules has never been my strong suit.

Why is it that we just don't listen to ourselves??? Why don't we listen to when our body is hungry and what our body is hungry for?

i am guilty of far too much mindless eating. i eat because it's a certain time of day, or i'm bored or stressed and happy. i know a big problem area in my relationship with food is "treats." as children we are raised that if you behave or if you eat your meal or if you do whatever you will get a "treat." more often than not (at least in my experience) that treat is food. getting that treat makes us feel good about ourselves. we've obviously done something good to deserve that treat. it's a vicious cycle.

i put this concept into practice today. i ate when i was hungry. i was actually a bit surprised to discover i had zero hunger until nearly 11:30. and i struggled with it because i have heard REPEATEDLY about the importance of breakfast and i'm sure you have to. in the end, i stuck with it. maybe tomorrow i'll be hungry at 9. i don't know. tomorrow will tell.

i feel good about eating when i'm hungry and stopping when I'm full today BUT i have to admit tonight all i want to do is snack. my nighttime snacking comes and goes, but tonight it is in FULL FORCE. i'm home alone, i have lots on my mind and i went grocery shopping tonight to buy "treats" for this weekend when a friend of mine is coming to town. i have been thinking about eating almost non-stop all evening. it's frustrating and ridiculous.

it is ridiculous, but at the same time i'm listening to what my body is telling me. it's not telling me it's hungry, so i'm not eating.

i encourage you to listen to yourselves. to your own body. to your own hunger.

who says what's best for your body? YOU DO!

Taking it to the TRASH

So after yesterday's big win I did something really stupid today. Yep I did and I bet you know what I did. I stood on the stupid hunk of metal pictured above in my trash. One pound gained. I felt horrible. All my successes out the window. Didn't matter that I felt amazing before I stood on it. Didn't matter that I think I look good (can you say that about yourself, because I do think I look better LOL). Didn't matter that I span my arse off at spin class today and had sweat pouring down my back. All that diminished because I let the scale do that.

What's even worse is that I stood before that scale like those idiots in the bible that worshiped false idols. Like someone making an offering, I stood before it waiting for it to validate my self worth.

If I am really truly going to change my life, and LIVE IT. If I am truly going to let go of this weight struggle and be healthy mind and body I just can't do the scale. I am like a drug addict, I can't even have it in the house. I thought about asking Ryan first, but than I thought no this is going now while I am strong. I am sure he would rather have a healthy wife than a stupid hunk of metal scale.

So there it is, IN THE TRASH!

Woot Woot to my girl

Please join in me in a woot woot to my girl Laurie. A long long time ago two girls dreamed of a place where they could share there stories on their journey to health. Every day we were emailing and chatting about our struggles, motivating each other, sharing our starts, and stops. That's when we thought it would be cool to share that on line. In reality, whether anyone really reads this or not its so rewarding to just put it out there. There is something about typing these words and sending them out into the blog world where someone might read them makes you stay honest. Its motivating, to know that I can share my successes here. Its therapeutic to know that I can share my lows here, like there is some unknown person there just listening.

Two ordinary yet extraordinary girls just like so many of you.

Are you willing/ready to come along for the journey?

Its going to be the ride of a lifetime :)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

time to jump!

katie and i were having a conversation the other day about finally DOING what we keep saying we want to do. and we agreed that we both just need to DIVE RIGHT IN and TAKE THE JUMP!

for me, that jump is stopping the procrastination and getting back on track with working out. i go through phases. when i'm in a phase i will go HARD CORE. i will be determined. i will NOT let anything stop me.

unfortunately, i haven't seen one of those "phases" since the winter. i've been letting my emotions take over. i've been making excuses. feeling sorry for myself. sitting in denial.

ENOUGH
time to dive in!

we have chosen a different life path. a life path that feels SO GOOD. SO RIGHT. SO POSITIVE.

now it's time to get the body where the brain is at.
i read this blog often. katie and i chat more times a day than i can count. i know you will agree with me she is just SOARING. she isn't just falling off the edge of the board, she is taking GIANT LEAPS IN THE AIR and just going for it!

it's inspiring and energizing and incredible to watch.
i'm hoping it'll be even more incredible to share.

so in keeping with all of that, i took my first step today. well my first series of steps. i went for not one, but two walks. i started with a first walk this morning and it felt SO GOOD that i just had to go back at lunch.  in total, i walked 90 minutes today in the fresh country air.

i stared longingly as multiple neighbours ran around the block. i want to be that girl. i want to be that runner.

today, i started with a step

I won! Today I won!

I won today. Not because I ran 3.1 miles in 38 min. Not because I then jogged and walked my way to 4 miles. Not because I ran that without music and just the beat of my own heart (my ipod frizzed). I WON TODAY because after accomplishing all of that and feeling so GOOD about myself I did NOT get on the scale. What possessed me to walk to the change room and stand before the stupid scale is beyond me...but I decided not to get on it. I chose not to let my accomplishments today be about weight. I chose today to celebrate the real win, the stuff that really matters.

Icing on the cake? While I was stretching one of the trainers came up to me and said she saw me running and thought I did really well. I told her I was pretty proud of this 200 pound plus plus body doing that. SHE HIGH FIVED ME!! I was on top of the world.

Monday, July 19, 2010

The line up

All my new shoes lined up side to side. This makes me happy. Who needs new scrappies when you have new shoes to stink up :) I have bought these in the last 3 months since joining the gym (Sorry scrapbook budget for taking one for the team). I started with the pair of cross trainers on the left, thinking that I would only be doing classes, weights, and cardio equipment. Then I got hooked on spinning and noticed almost everyone had cool spin shoes. BUT REALLY they DO make spinning much better! Then I started running, running more than just 10 min on the treadmill. I did something crazy and signed up for a 5 Km in Sept (thank-you YVONNE). So I needed proper running shoes. I really did :)

So today the girls and I headed out to Runner's World. I told the sales woman that I needed shoes that would handle all the pounding these feet are going to take. I have to say she did a through job or at least it seemed when she made walk and run in the store and got down on the ground to watch my feet. The kids thought that was pretty funny. I tried on 5 pairs I think. I hope I have the right ones. They are very comfy. I am so excited to try them out. I think I may even sneak out to the gym tonight even though I worked out already this morning. I can try them out on the treadmill and calibrate my Nike +iPod sensor (oh yeah, watch out FB LOL)

On another note, my blisters feel really good. Seriously, they do :) I bought some healing salve at the Farmers Market yesterday and they have worked wonders on my feet. The HERB WIFE makes it.

Well, my new playlist is ready :) Wish me luck :)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

On Fire (not the good kind)

My feet are on fire and not because I ran another 5Km yesterday (which I did, woot woot and with hills on the treadmill), but because I wore stupid shoes out last night. Yep I have pulled yet another dumb ass move. I wore flat hard snadals out walking to the BF last night. Even though I thought about wearing my runners and socks, but NOOOO I was to vain to do that. Yes, a chubby girl hobbling and walking like she has a load in her pants is far sexier than running shoes and socks.

3 Blisters on my feet. Sigh.....26 stitches didn't slow me down...but I fear these might. They hurt! I am going to google blister care today and maybe take the day off today.

On another note, got the hubbies ok on buying a new pair of running shoes. I figure I better make sure I have really really good shoes to support the pounding this 200 pound plus plus girl is takeing :) I did 6.2 miles this week :)

NEVER NEVER NEVER thought I would be able to do this again.

Seriously, YOU CAN DO THIS....IF I CAN DO THIS...YOU CAN!!

IT FEELS SOOOO GOOD :)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

5KM

I did it!!! 5KM! I went to the gym today thinking I would do 2 miles. I wanted to do 2.5 but thought I should take it easy with the stitches. I set the treadmill to a level 2 hill prgram so that it was a little more challenging and a little more realistic to the road. After 2 miles I felt good, really good and thought hell why not...2.5....I turned the hills off....reached 2.5 and thought you only have .6 left to go....why not....3.1 miles or 5Km...40 min and 20 sec.

Ryan was on the treadmill next to me and gave me a high five :) I felt like I was going to burst with excitement.

ME.....241 pounds...did that!!

Yep FAT and FIT BABY!!!!!

Watch this FLAB FLY!!!! (I think I need a shirt that says that)

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Pumping with the Hubby

Its been awhile since I have braved the photo share :) LOL So here's this morning complete with bandage on foot. Slowly but surely toning up :)

Today I did the PUMP class with Ryan. It was a lot of fun to do it with him. He looked like he was going to fall over during the squat and lunge track, but kicked ass in the arm tracks. I have always been stronger in the legs and he in the upper body. I really enjoy going to the gym with him. Its amazing how our lifestyle as a FAMILY has changed in the last 2 months.

Well its a scrappy day for me, and I for one am going to enjoy it :)

Toots,

Monday, July 12, 2010

Down another pound...but we are having ribs :)

Got on the scale today and was down another pound. I kind of hate that I stood on it. The damn thing beckons me over in the morning. Its like a game of sorts, come see how I will make you feel today. That pound down could be a giant poop gone, or any number of things. I really must stick to the real measures of success. I was lucky this morning. I could have stood on it and have gained a pound and I would have felt like poop all day.

I had a spin class this AM, it was hard. I feel like it was harder because of the two days off I took last week in a ROW...YIKES. But I pushed hard, and I got a great workout. My foot and leg felt very good. I loved looking at my legs and arms while on the bike, they looked muscular and athletic. I really think I am proof that you can be fat and fit.

So tonight we are having ribs for dinner, and I for one am going to ENJOY them :) Tomorrow I PUMP :)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Soaking

Soaking my foot and leg in a saline bath before hitting the gym. I made it to the gym Friday and did the bike and elepitical for 30 min and then some abbs and push ups. I did about 75% power so to speak. I didn't have any pain, the stiches on my foot that were covered by my running shoe were fine. Saturday I hit the gym before Kay's birthday party. I did 30 min of cardio again but this time added 10 min of light running. I did about 75% power again. I was again ok. But by the end of the day , and a day of being on my feet my stitches were red and my foot swollen. My mom suggested a saline bath for it and some ice. Both worked wonders I awoke to a much improved if not totally healthy stitches. I am doing my 2nd soak today, and think one after the gym will be good. I ate A LOT fri and sat, enjoying icecream cake, pizza, Indian food, and cupcakes. I have to say that when I indulge now, I really don't have the same old guilt and ahhh I am fat pig feeling that I used to. Instead I enjoy the food and the company and know that I will be back at the gym working hard. I got on the scale Sat morning and saw that I had lost a pound :) Very nice little surprise. But what was better was that I bought a new dress to wear to Kay's party. It was a size smaller than I have been buying. It had straps and I wore it as is without a wrap. Yes my arms still have the FLAGS but I feel so much better about them now that I have been pumping iron :) I might even say I felt sexy :) That dress was a real high moment for me. So here's to a great cardio and pump class in an hour :)

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Me again :)

So the girls and I feel asleep on my bed around 5:00....I didn't go to the gym. I was tired and a little scared of working out and ripping my stitches. So I will brave the gym tomorrow morning and get back at it. I feel a bit scared, scared that I have been away from the gym two days in a row. I haven't not worked out 2 days in a row since I started this venture 7 weeks ago. I am still eating much better, but I must admit that this week hasn't been as good as previous weeks. I got on the scale today and I have not lost any weight. I also haven't gained any so that's good. I find that this week I have been relying heavily on carbs, WW meals....I haven't made my morning smoothie, I haven't been eating fresh fruits and veg's. I need to change that pronto.

I guess I should share why I have stitches, 26 of them actually : ( I was trying to be discreet because I was afraid to tell my Mom and have her give me trouble. Yes I am still her little girl :) So Tuesday around 6pm I stood on ou glass coffee table and broke it. Yep, really STUPID. I could have hurt the kids, and I certainly scared the heck out of them. It was a lot of blood and pretty scary. But Thankfully everyone is ok. I have a big gash on my lower left leg and two small cuts on foot. I am not in pain. I don't think I need to worry much about the leg. I just wonder how my foot will feel in a closed running shoe.

I really hope that this doesn't hold me back, I have been working so hard and feeling so good. I really NEED to be able to do this.

Wish me luck tomorrow morning :)

Still here

Still here....Had a great spin class Monday...felt like puking a few times...sign of a good work out :) Tuesday I did 20 min cardio and a PUMP class and it was HOT! Wednesday I had to take the day off due to an inurjy on my leg. The leg is not sore at all, so I may try just a pump class today something non impact. I was told to wait till the weekend but I am lacking my workout high and am slumping around the house like a girl in need of a coffee. I think it will come down to how my foot feels in my shoe.

So nothing funny or whitty today....hopefully something of the sort soon :)

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Road Runner

Today was the big day, well big day for me :) I had decided last week that I would run 2 miles on the road (without the ease of the treadmill) while at my parents. My original plan was to run straight up the highway for 1 mile and turn around and run back. My plan changed a LITTLE LOL...my BIL's drove me 2 miles into the bush on the back ATV roads. Ummmmmm HILLS ...lots of gravel hills that do not give you traction! The view was beautiful, the canopy of trees protected me from the sun and heat. It was hard, won't kid you on that. The hills were very hard. But I DID IT, and I didn't stop. I may have slowed down to a very slow jog but I kept on jogging/running. When I could finally see the highway I was very surprised to see that I had reached the end. I guess that means I still had some gas left in me (and not the bean kind).

I then spent the rest of the day on my BIL's killer new boat, I mean killer...you feel like a rockstar in it! We turned up the wake all over the lake all day tubing and wake boarding. I tried tubing with my nieces and kids. My 2 year old had more fun than I did. I thought we were going to flip the whole time. My 7 year old niece Hannah, is insane on the wake board. She is like a little ROXY GIRL! She gave me the goosebumps. Then there is my sister Jamie who just looks so smoking hot and athletic on the board. I was in awe. I want to look as muscular and hot as she did one day! I hope this doesn't sound weird but I am going to use that image of my sister as my inspiration while I work out next week. She reminded me of Gabrielle Reece!

I had a few (5 or 6) beers this aft, and with the sun, I am feeling rather wobbly and pooped. I ate too much at dinner (it was so good). I just saw a picture of myself from this weekend and I look HUGE...ahhhh it drives me nuts. I swear there is something wrong with cameras. They can't be accurate. I did not look like that when I looked in the mirror this morning with one eye open. I was at least half that size :) Trying to be funny. Trying to go back to the good place I was in before dinner. Trying not to let the bad stuff win. I am so much better than that.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Happy Canada Day


Happy Canada Day!

I started the celebration this morning with a great SPIN CLASS...nothing like climbing hills with a little BEASTIE BOYS at 9:30am! Banana, almond smoothie down the hatch and I am ready to GO GO GO today. Canada Day festivities and a BBQ. Tomorrow we head to the gym in AM as a family, and then drive to my parents house. Saturday, Ryan and I are going to ROAD RUN 2 miles together. I am a little nervous about how running on the road will feel compared to the treadmill. But I am up for the challenge. Saturday, we also have a combined birthday party for all the girls. Sunday is a day off from working out. How cool is it that my 4 day long weekend involves 3 great workouts that I am looking forward too :)

Whole new world, whole new world baby :)

Enjoy everyone :)